and loneliness is

... I heard a very zen line on the radio show
Prairie Home Companion

... it went something like: "Loneliness is the rent you pay
to keep your space on planet earth"

... it has had me thinking about it

... no matter how close we get to someone, we are still
alone in our minds... and we are alone till we die, and
quit paying that rent to be on earth

... we delude ourselves into thinking we are not really lonely,
by surrounding ourselves with many friends, constant cell texting,
always trying to be in a group, be in the moment
... the meer frenzy of all the activity keeps one from feeling

... but, those very friendliest people, are the ones who suffer the most
when they are forced into loneliness
... because their whole conciousness has been devoted to the others around
them, they rarely recognize the deep loneliness within themselves, constantly
distracted by the need to interact with others, instead of focussing
on their inner selves

... but lonely souls like me, are quite different
... we have lost interest in the distractions of the outside world,
and have been forced to find the happiness within, just by virtue
of being alone and having no one to talk to but yourself

... this sort of loneliness of the soul, is commonly remedied
by anti-depressants or other means, but it still dosn't answer
the question... why do I exist?

... I think the question of existence is the source of loneliness

... I seldom feel alone, even though I spend most of my time as a hermit

... don't confuse being horny and being lonely

... horniness makes you go out and seek others, its a chemical drive,
its the pheronomes

... but loneliness is a feeling of being left out and inconsequential

... I don't feel alone, because I sense the prescense of a greater conciousness
than mine... no matter where I'm at I feel that prescence
... there is a little connection in my mind, to a greater network of
thought and conciousness, so I feel connected to the Tao, and that
satisfies my craving to be part of a bigger system

... anyways, happy MLK day, I feel he is in paradise, because of the
way I feel today. Maybe its because good old Martin ain't paying rent no more
on this ruthless planet.


2012 by zentara